Why do I have such a bad luck in life? Should I just kill myself?

1303344733 47 Why do I have such a bad luck in life? Should I just kill myself?

Everything in my life just goes wrong. For years I have suffered from OCD and anxiety. I kept running the hospital all the time as I was convinced there was something wrong with me when there wasn't. I just kept getting panic attacks. I started to go out with friends and take drugs, get drunk and sleep with guys instead to try keep my mind away from panicking and going up the hospital but that just made my OCD alot worse. Sleeping with strange guys made me feel dirty and sick and I was constantly scrubbing and washing myself. I felt like I was washing away my sins. Made me feel pure again. I spend hours in the shower every day. I flooded the bathroom many times. Blew the shower up as it overheated and when on fire. I even bleached my own skin. I was having many arguments with my family over the bathroom. they said I was using it way too much. I ended up breaking down and took many overdoses. I was then sectioned in a psychiatric ward for a long while. when I came out I didn't feel any better and started to resort to my old ways and was even meeting men from the internet and sleeping with them. I then suddenly fell pregnant. my family went well mad when they found out especially my Dad but eventually came round. my baby was like my savour as I stopped everything. I was no longer sleeping with anyone or doing any drugs nothing. Everything stopped. For the first time in my life I felt contented and happy and was looking forward to having my baby but the happiness didn't happen for long. my physiologist referred the social services onto me and it ended up being the worst year ever for me. I lost her over a year ago. The social services have stole her away from me and no matter what I do I can't get her back. I was also brutally raped a few weeks after giving birth to my child which left me really shaken and my stitches split from were I gave birth. I been crying myself to sleep every night and haven't been hardly eating. I want and miss my baby so much. The social services say i'm too mentally and emotionally unstable to have a child and told me I could never be a mother and any child I have in future will get taken from me so I am not allowed to have any children. I cry all the time over losing my baby. All i'm left with is loads of baby stuff that I don't even no what to do with. I also got all loose sagging skin on my stomach area with stretch marks on from having my child and my boobs are sagging. It looks horrible and have very low self esteem and confidence. I cry every time I see that. I have lost my child and any chance of having any future family and all i'm left with is a sagging tummy and boobs. I cry cry cry over it all. I been to doctors over my tummy but they won't do anything about it. All they go on about is funding. they spend £100,000 funding to steal my baby away from me when she didn't even need protecting as she was at no risk of neglect or harm she was being looked after really well and yet they cant afford 5 grand for a tummy tuck complete bullsh!t. recently I just got a fungus infection in my nail which I got from wearing alot of fake nails. The first time I got an infection in nail and it disgusts me. my computer also broke but I had it fixed and I lost all of my files. I have lost everything. my pictures and all my music files. since my child was taken from me I don't go any were anymore. I have no job or college as i'm severely depressed over everything that has happened to me. I don't hardly sleep or eat and just cry and cry every night. I am convinced people talk about me behind my back. I have no friends anymore. I no longer have a social life. I don't even see much of my family. I just recently found out they might be cutting my benefits back and I could lose my house. I don't know if they are. I have to go for medical tomorrow and find out in a few weeks time. my canary birds also just recently died on me. Feel so guilty as should of took it to the vet. I thought it wasn't well it was sleeping at bottom of cage. I should of took it vet. Everything in my life is just bad. I feel like nothing ever goes right for me. All I see is things getting worse and worse and i'm sinking to a deep dark tunnel. I just feel so low. Why do I have such bad luck in life? should I just kill myself?

Sounds like you been through a lot,try counselling and try be positive

Why do you have such bad luck? Join the club, so do many people. I've heard way worse stories than yours & no don't kill yourself.

I have read your dilemma and i have to say that while some things have happened which are bad some things are not,you say your computer broke and you lost everything,well that's happened to me aswell and it does happen it's not you,you got a infection,that can happen aswell and it does probably to plenty of women who wear false fingernails,dont worry it will clear up,just keep it clean.
having your baby taken away must have been very distressing,i'm not sure about the social services,my dealings with them haven't been very positive aswell,but you've got to try and become a little more stable,i know it's easier said than done,but with strength from within and help from real friends,or your family if anyone is willing to listen should help overcome or ease any personal difficulties.
With regard to the rape you really have to go to the police,they will take you seriously,they may even be able to offer you some help in the way of counselling to help you through your trauma,but whatever has happened to you dont blame yourself entirely,you've had a difficult time you seem depressed,understandably,but try to look forward,get all the help you can,try not to do it alone and eventually you will come out the other side,suicide is not the answer to anything,remember you have a child out there,one day you might have back in your arms again,isn't that worth living for,and in any case you can have another child,the social services would have to go through procedures to prove you're unfit and if you dont show them that,then they can't do anything.
I haven't seen you but i bet your tummy and boobs are not as saggy as you think,nobody's perfect,not even a hollywood superstar,embrace the fact you're still here and have made it through this far.
I hope things turn out well for you.

there is far more too it why you do not have your baby with you – they don't just take them away from their parents without good reason – I know because I've had to fight to keep my son.

So you've have things go wrong. So has everyone. at least your child is alive – I have had a stillborn daughter, my partner died & my son has terminal cancer & his drs think he will be lucky to be alive this time next week. I don't bother asking why my anymore – it is now a case of why not me.

What you are going through is not just bad luck, it is a consequence of choices made. As for them never giving your baby back, that is not true if you really knuckle down & do everything that expected of you to prove you can be good parent to your child

I really cannot read all the wall-o-text above. "should I just kill myself?" NEVER–you can always find someone better off and you can always find someone worse off than you are.

I suffer from anxiety. not so muh as OCD maybe occasional things that i guess are considered OCD. dont kill yourself. there is medication that will help also i am a firm believe in that you can get over it. As far as your child. take it slow and work on things and dont give up hope. just ask jesus for help, as cliche as that sounds it will work. If you need anyone to talk to let me know. Maybe we can help each other.

There is always a bad phase in everybody's life.
Believe me, all these bad times actually are because of one' sown fault in 90% cases.
In your case too, you were more into animal instinct than rationale human instinct.
Your "Mates" utilized you as a tool for the sake of physical pleasure.
What you went across is best known to you.
Now the stage has come when you must cleanse yourself.
You do not have to bathe yourself with soap and water. You need to cleanse from within.
You must purify your inner self. That can come through SPIRITUALITY.
Start with MEDITATION.
Visit the Church frequently and surrender to OUR LORD.
Talk to our Lord. After a few days, HE will start communicating with you and you will start getting HIS guidance and advice. your actions will reflect HIS desires.
People will see your face glowing. You will look different.
You will then think only about good for others and will have no selfish intentions.
Please wear light coloured clothes, listen to soft soothing music, and keep soft colored photographs in your room.
The Bad old Days will soon be forgotten and you will experience REBIRTH sort of feeling.

You are not the only person to fall victim.
You have time to mend. Today guys are like Vultures falling prey on any female they meet.
Please Beware.
May the Lord Awaken you and give you all the strength to sustain.

Why do I have such a bad luck in life? Should I just kill myself?

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