In an effort to continue down the path of getting back in shape, and because I had recently purchased a really great Groupon, I bought a pair of new running shoes from Charlotte Running Company. Charlotte Running Company is great because they analyze your stride on a treadmill prior to recommending a style of shoe with the best fit for your foot. the only downfall is that once you decide on a particular style of shoe, it typically only comes in one color scheme. I’ve been getting the same style of shoe for over two years now (a nice combination of red, black, silver and white), and it’s been very good to my feet, so I of course wanted to stick with what worked. unfortunately, the shoe designers at Nike decided to switch a good thing up, and give my trusty sneaker a revamped look. One of the shoe’s primary colors is now pink.
Five years ago, hell 5 months ago, this wouldn’t have even been a second thought in my head. I’ve always been very fond of the color pink….it’s been a staple in some shape or form in my wardrobe for as long as I can remember…..but I’m not so fond of it anymore. I am seriously all pinked out!!
See, the color pink now represents something different for me. Pre-cancer it brought feel-good, care free, girlie, bright, cheery, happy, summery thoughts to mind. Post-cancer, all it makes me think about is just that….cancer. the marketing geniuses over at the Komen Organization really hit the nail on the head (IMPO) when they chose that as their signature color.
I’ve received so many wonderful gifts over the last 8 months…cards, flowers, bandanas, stickers, magnets, journals, hats, t-shirts, socks, ink pens, pins, jewelry….all VERY MUCH APPRECIATED….and all about 95% pink. While I cherish the thought, sentiment, and effort that went into each and every gift that was purchased on my behalf, all I can think about these days is boxing it all up and putting it in the attic…..and I feel extremely guilty about that.
I don’t think there was a 3-day period that went by during the months of June – December last year where I went without receiving some sort of gift / card in the mail. That constant stream of support and encouragement was such a great help during a really scary and uncertain time in my life. so now wanting to pack that all up and store it away leaves me feeling really ungrateful. While I realize that my friends and family who sent the gifts don’t expect me to have them on display for the rest of my life, I struggle with how soon is too soon to move on from it all.
I still have every card and note that was sent to me, and hope to someday make a scrap book or do something really creative with them….but I’ve slowly started giving away and donating some of the countless gifts I received. My hope is that someone else can benefit from them during their own time of need. And until I figure out exactly what to do with all of my cancer gifts, I’ll work on regaining my love for the color pink. In the meantime, every mile I run in my new semi-pink sneakers will remind me of how fortunate I am to have kicked cancer in the butt!
I have my one month post radiation appointment with Dr. Crimaldi on Friday. if everything checks out ok (and I’m not really sure what “everything checking out ok” means at this point), then I’ll never have to see him again. And as much as I loved Dr. Crimaldi, that’s very exciting news!
My nails are growing really fast these days…and for the most part, hanging on for dear life. I did, unfortunately, lose another nail over the weekend. but luckily, it is on the same hand as my other nub nail and it didn’t tear off even close to as low as the other one. the remaining nails almost have the appearance of a French manicure at this point….which is a very welcome change from looking like fungus!
My hair is really starting to get fluffy now. I can actually run my fingers through it in the shower…and it feels like I actually have hair to scrub. With the new found fluffiness has come a little bit of curl and a whole lot of frizz. You can’t really tell in my pictures because one of my hair growth enhancing products tames it down quite a bit….and because I’ve typically had a hat or my wig on for an extended period of time flattening my hair out prior to taking the photos. One of these days I’ll take a picture right out of the shower to show my fluff!
Photos from 18 ½ weeks post chemo are below….
<a href="http://www.blogher.com/18-12-weeks-post-chemoall-pinked-out?wrap=blogher-topics/body-image&crumb=175tag:news.google.com,2005:cluster=http://www.blogher.com/18-12-weeks-post-chemoall-pinked-out?wrap=blogher-topics/body-image”>18 1/2 Weeks Post Chemo…….All Pinked Out!!